IT HAS TO RAIN FOR THINGS TO GROW

THE RAIN CLOUD IS GONE:) WOOT! WOOT!

I haven't written in several weeks and some of you have inquired about how I'm doing.  I never want to be the person that puts negativity into the universe and because the last few weeks have been a struggle I chose to be silent.  I want to authentic and candid and if I'd done that, the blog would have been a complete downer. 

I was feeling like this:

I woke up on Monday (our 13th wedding anniversary) with a fresh perspective.  I am blessed in so many ways.  I have an amazing husband, family, friends and great coworkers.  I felt like I would be a brat for complaining when I know that so many people have gone through and are going through much more than I. I decided that I can be truthful and still be optimistic. Cancer sucks!!!  I know I am going to beat it, but it is a nasty business.  

It is my nature to see the good in everything (that will never change), but ignoring the bad and shutting people out that are concerned isn't the answer.  Going forward I will share some of the yucky stuff because unfortunately almost everyone will be touched by cancer in some way and I want to share my 100% real and honest accounting of this journey.

Thanks in no small part to the good wishes and support I've received...I'm in a good place.  THANK YOU!!!!!!! 

Now I feel like this:

And think know this:

NEW TREATMENT PLAN

My body just couldn't deal with having chemo every week, so after six consecutive weeks of getting chemo and three of trying to recover, Dr. D. has transitioned me to getting chemo every three weeks.  There will still be weekly trips to the hospital, but I feel confident that this is going to be a good thing.

Chemo today:)

PAYING IT FORWARD

So many people have been kind and caring during this time.  For whatever reason I've always had a hard time receiving things.  I still don't completely understand where this comes from, but I have become better at it through this and humbled because of it.  Over the next few weeks I will share some of my learnings and introduce you to some of the everyday heroes that have gotten Rob and I through.

My mission is to pay it forward.  I am not 100% right now, but I feel like I still have a lot to give.  I have already put a few things in motion to help others the way I've been helped.  This has been the best emotional medicine.  It feels so good to give.  My Mom always says, "We are blessed so that we may be a blessing to others."  My Mamma's so smart.:)

Thanks for listening and I'll talk to you soon!

Ciao!